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Kid'S Sports
Posted by
Paul H
,
25 May 2010
·
7,922 views
Well, what is this bloggy thing? Reading others on here it appears to be an opportunity to ramble on about something.
Does anyone know what Twitter is?
Anyway, I digress from what is my topic of my first ever blog. Namely Kid's Sports.
I was watching BBC1 News on Saturday morning on account of there being nothing but adverts on every other channel (except perhaps BBC2 but that doesn't count) and they have this little guy on called (I think) Mike who investigates sports.
Mike always appears to be propped up on cushions while doing his sports bit, and sways around like when you sit on one of those over high barstools (the ones where you need a leg up off a mate to sit on it) and has a particularly small head (or maybe his body is large). Those of you who are fans of the recently deceased Ray Allen should think of a ventriloquist's dummy, this should give you a rough idea of what Mike looks like.
Enough about Mike, though, and on to his 'and finally' bit where he tries his hand (or foot) at tobogganing or skiing or whatever minority sport he finds on Google. Last week it was Crazy Ball.
Crazy Ball has been invented in a (most probably wasted) attempt to get the fat kids in school to do something other than feign illness in sports lessons. There are 4 goals to make it easier and you don't even have to move about (female readers will know there are sports that do not involve moving about - examples are netball and doing the washing up).
Strangely, I was of the opinion that sports were meant to get you fit and therefore not moving is not the way to cardiovascular improvement. However, it seems I know nothing because the authorities (does anybody actually know who the 'authorities' are? You do? Well, let me know who they are) think that standing around is much better for you than dodging PE and smoking behind the bushes.
But I say 'Sod these new fangled sports - stick to the old favourites and the fat kids will soon get fit.'
I can name a few sports from my day.
Murder Ball - whoever has the football is ambushed by the rest of the team, hauled to the ground and crogged. (note - the fat kid can be goalie)
Pile On - the fat kid is usually at the bottom of the pile and the rest of the class (and others if they're really good at jumping onto large piles of kids) pile on top. The game ends when the kid on the bottom turns purple or the pile gives way.
Ball Tick - usually played with a tennis ball but particularly brutal kids can use a cricket ball. The aim of this game is for the person who is 'on' to throw the ball and try to hit the testicles of others. As you would guess, hitting the testicles means that the other kid is then 'on'. Using the fat kid for target practice can help to improve your game if you're 'on' a lot. Tieing him to a post helps.
I'm in the process of writing to Mike of the BBC to see if he wants to try his hand at Pile On.
Will keep you posted.
Does anyone know what Twitter is?
Anyway, I digress from what is my topic of my first ever blog. Namely Kid's Sports.
I was watching BBC1 News on Saturday morning on account of there being nothing but adverts on every other channel (except perhaps BBC2 but that doesn't count) and they have this little guy on called (I think) Mike who investigates sports.
Mike always appears to be propped up on cushions while doing his sports bit, and sways around like when you sit on one of those over high barstools (the ones where you need a leg up off a mate to sit on it) and has a particularly small head (or maybe his body is large). Those of you who are fans of the recently deceased Ray Allen should think of a ventriloquist's dummy, this should give you a rough idea of what Mike looks like.
Enough about Mike, though, and on to his 'and finally' bit where he tries his hand (or foot) at tobogganing or skiing or whatever minority sport he finds on Google. Last week it was Crazy Ball.
Crazy Ball has been invented in a (most probably wasted) attempt to get the fat kids in school to do something other than feign illness in sports lessons. There are 4 goals to make it easier and you don't even have to move about (female readers will know there are sports that do not involve moving about - examples are netball and doing the washing up).
Strangely, I was of the opinion that sports were meant to get you fit and therefore not moving is not the way to cardiovascular improvement. However, it seems I know nothing because the authorities (does anybody actually know who the 'authorities' are? You do? Well, let me know who they are) think that standing around is much better for you than dodging PE and smoking behind the bushes.
But I say 'Sod these new fangled sports - stick to the old favourites and the fat kids will soon get fit.'
I can name a few sports from my day.
Murder Ball - whoever has the football is ambushed by the rest of the team, hauled to the ground and crogged. (note - the fat kid can be goalie)
Pile On - the fat kid is usually at the bottom of the pile and the rest of the class (and others if they're really good at jumping onto large piles of kids) pile on top. The game ends when the kid on the bottom turns purple or the pile gives way.
Ball Tick - usually played with a tennis ball but particularly brutal kids can use a cricket ball. The aim of this game is for the person who is 'on' to throw the ball and try to hit the testicles of others. As you would guess, hitting the testicles means that the other kid is then 'on'. Using the fat kid for target practice can help to improve your game if you're 'on' a lot. Tieing him to a post helps.
I'm in the process of writing to Mike of the BBC to see if he wants to try his hand at Pile On.
Will keep you posted.
